Well for starters, learning more about these mental illnesses has really shed some light on how I'm feeling and WHY. Even better, the things I can do to cope.
I never thought of myself as much of a summer lover.. especially compared to the majority of the population. In fact, I love rain! Fall is my favourite season! But I guess my heart and my brain don't see eye to eye. As soon as the seasons start to change I absolutely notice a change in attitude. I'm agitated, don't have much time for others, yet find myself completely neglecting me. It's almost this hazy state of being constantly stressed out and under pressure yet totally unaware.
I crave anything and everything in sight. All I want to do is eat. Fast food on fast food. Which we all know just makes things worse. But I feel like I can't stop. It's the only thing that gives me even an ounce of happiness or gratification. For some reason in the cooler months I also feel more strapped for cash (maybe it's because I'm spending it all on fricken Burger King). And we all know finances is one of the top things stressing Canadians the heck out.
Don't even get me started on time change. Are we gonna do anything about that yet, or? Extra hour of daylight my ASS. Sorry, but I sure as heck am not getting up an hour earlier when it's colder and that's all "falling back" really does. Going to work when it's pitch black out and leaving work when it's pitch black out is also depressing as hell. It just makes me want to immediately go to sleep when I get home which makes me feel unproductive and then I'm back in this vicious cycle which is clearly not easy to break.
I feel like I'm complaining, I'm really just trying to explain the horrible mess I feel when time changes, leaves change, everything changes and we're just supposed to stay looking and feeling the same. The same we were when the sun was shining all day and we had this unwritten freedom.
There's definitely something to be said for making a conscious effort to in fact put more effort into making myself happier. But there is also a scientific reason as to why these things happen. There are hormones, there are chemical imbalances, there are dissipating levels of Vitamin D. Alllll contributing factors to feeling, for a lack of a better word, "blue".
So just know, you're not alone. You're not to be blamed. It's not your fault. There are things we can do to cope. Start by YACing with us, just talking about it takes some pressure off. And stay tuned for our resources blog where we'll dive a bit more into what we do to cope and some other great resources out there. Chat soon!! Xx Rebecca
Disclaimer: We are not medical professionals and are not able to provide licensed medical advice. This is a platform to relay information and share about mental illness.